Your Guide to Self-Help and Psychological First Aid
It’s 2 AM. Priya (name changed) is sitting on her balcony, wide awake for the third night running. Work deadlines are piling up, the family needs her attention, and her phone won’t stop buzzing. Everything feels heavy. She wonders if she’s the only one drowning like this. Is asking for help a sign of weakness? Can she even do anything about this on her own? Is asking for help a sign of weakness.
Here’s what Priya doesn’t know yet: millions of us have been exactly where she is right now. And help – the kind we can give ourselves, and the kind we can offer each other – is actually much closer than it seems.
10th October is celebrated as World Mental Health Day and this year’s theme is “Mental health in humanitarian emergencies”. Managing our mental health isn’t about waiting until everything falls apart. It’s about having some tools ready, knowing what to do when things get tough, and being able to support the people around us when they need it.
It’s Not Just “Fine” or “Not Fine” Mental health doesn’t work like an on-off switch. We’re all somewhere on a spectrum that keeps shifting. Some days you’re crushing it. Other days you’re just getting through. And sometimes? You’re really struggling. That’s normal. That’s human.
Think about how we treat our physical health. We don’t wait until we’re completely bedridden to take care of ourselves, right? We exercise, we eat reasonably well, we rest. Our minds deserve the same kind of attention. Self-help tools are like those daily habits that keep us strong. Psychological First Aid is what we do when we are going through a crisis and need immediate support.
Building Your Mental Health Toolkit Self-help isn’t about trying to “fix” yourself. You’re not broken. It’s about having some go-to strategies that help you stay resilient and get through the hard days.
Just Breathe (No, Really) When anxiety hits or stress takes over, notice what happens to your breathing. It gets quick and shallow, doesn’t it? Here’s a technique that actually works: breathe in for 4 counts, hold it for 7, then breathe out for 8. That’s it. Two minutes of this when you’re overwhelmed can make a real difference. You can do it on the crowded local train, right before a tough meeting, or when you’re lying in bed unable to sleep. Your body has this built-in calming system – this is how you switch it on.
Come Back to The Present Moment Anxiety loves to drag us into the future. “What if this happens? What if that goes wrong?” Here’s a simple way to pull yourself back: the 5-4-3-2-1 method. Look around and name 5 things you can see. Then 4 things you can touch. 3 things you can hear. 2 you can smell. 1 you can taste. It sounds almost too simple, but it works because it forces your brain to focus on what is actually happening in the present moment. And usually? In the present moment, you’re okay.
Don’t Do This Alone When we’re struggling, our first instinct is often to hide away. It feels safer to deal with it alone. But isolation usually makes everything worse. You don’t have to spill your heart out to someone. Sometimes just sitting with a friend, calling your sibling, or having chai with a neighbour is enough. Human connection is powerful. It reminds us we’re not alone in this messy, complicated business of being alive.
Being There When Someone Else Needs You Psychological First Aid sounds formal, but it’s really just about knowing how to help when someone is going through a rough time. You don’t need to be a therapist. You just need to be present and caring.
Spotting the Signs How do you know when someone needs help? Look for changes. Maybe they’ve stopped showing up to things they used to enjoy. Maybe they look different—not taking care of themselves the way they usually do. Pay attention to how they talk about things. Phrases like “I can’t take this anymore” or “Everyone would be better off without me” are serious red flags. Trust your gut. If something feels off about someone you care about, it probably is.
The Three Basic Principles Look: Check out what’s happening. Is this person safe? Who seems to need support right now? Listen: Just listen. Not the kind where you’re already thinking about what advice to give. Just listen. Don’t judge, don’t interrupt, don’t try to fix it immediately. Sometimes people don’t need solutions—they need someone to hear them. Look them in the eye. Nod. Say simple things like “I’m here” or “That sounds really hard.” Link: Help them connect with the right kind of support. Maybe that’s a family member, maybe it’s a professional, maybe it’s a crisis helpline. You’re the bridge, not the destination.
What to Actually Do So someone’s in front of you and they’re clearly not okay. What now?
Make it safe: Find a quiet spot if you can. Make sure they’re physically safe first. If there’s immediate danger, call for emergency help.
Stay calm: Your energy matters. If you’re calm, they can borrow some of that calm. Keep your voice gentle and steady.
Ask real questions: “Are you okay?” usually gets an automatic “I’m fine.” Try “What’s going on?” or “How are you feeling right now?” Give them room to actually answer. Don’t minimize it: Please don’t say “It’s not that bad” or “Just stay positive.” Even if you mean well, it makes people feel worse. Try “That sounds really overwhelming” or “No wonder you’re feeling this way.”
Do simple things: “Want some water?” “Should I sit with you for a bit?” “Is there someone I can call for you?” These small gestures matter more than you think.
Know your limits: You’re not supposed to have all the answers. Saying “I don’t know what to say, but I’m her for you” is completely okay. And when something’s beyond your ability to help,it’s important to recognize that and encourage them to talk to a professional.
When It’s Time for Professional Help Some situations need more than what we can offer. If someone’s been struggling for weeks without any improvement, if they can’t function day-to-day, if they’re talking about harming themselves, if they’re using alcohol or drugs more and more to cope—that’s when professional help becomes necessary. Gently encourage them toward that support.
Let’s Talk About the Elephant in the Room We all know stigma is still a huge problem. People worry about being labeled “crazy” or “weak” or “dramatic.” But getting help for your mental health is exactly the same as seeing a doctor when you’re physically sick. There’s no difference.
In our communities, we hear it all the time. “Log kya kahenge?” What will people say? Or “We don’t have these problems in our family.” People suffer in silence as a result of this attitude, they are too scared or ashamed to reach out. Things change when we start talking normally about mental health—like we talk about diabetes or high blood pressure. Mental health is just another part of health. Nothing more, nothing less.
Where Do We Go From Here? There’s no one perfect way to take care of your mental health. What helps me might not help you, and that’s ne. We’re not aiming for perfection here. We’re aiming for better. Progress, not perfection. Some days, getting out of bed is the win. Other days, it’s reaching out to someone. Both count. Start somewhere small. Pick one thing from this article and try it this week. Learn the basics of how to help someone in crisis. And remember—asking for help doesn’t make you weak. It takes real courage to admit you’re struggling and reach out. If you’re reading this and thinking “That’s me, that’s exactly how I feel”—you’re not alone. Not even close. Help exists, and you deserve to get it. Whether that means trying these self-help strategies, talking to someone you trust, or reaching out to a mental health professional, just take that rst step. That’s the hardest part, and also the bravest. We’re all guring this out together. None of us has it all sorted. And we all need help sometimes. When we learn these tools and know how to support each other, we build something better—a community where it’s okay to not be okay, where people can admit they’re struggling without shame, and where help is always available. This World Mental Health Day, let’s be that connection for ourselves and for each other. The bridge between struggling and getting support. Between suffering in silence and speaking up. Between crisis and hope. You don’t have to face this alone. Reach out. We’re here, and we want to help.
(By Dr. Anita Sukhwani, Consulting Psychiatrist. Mann Healthy Mind Centre; www.manncentre.com)
